


Why are you so scared to love me?

by anemoarchon



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Kissing, M/M, Marriage Proposal, One-Sided Relationship, Pining, Rinne's speech is hard to type so im sorry if i messed things up, Shared Bed, Swearing, Unreciprocated Love, happy ending i promise on god, mentions of hot limit, multiple instances of implied nsfw, niki cries for no reason, niki has some internalized homophobia, sorry i cant format for shit im lazy, the second half is really dialogue heavy, this takes place a bit after hot limit in the present
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:34:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28017813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anemoarchon/pseuds/anemoarchon
Summary: “Why are you scared Niki?” Rinne spoke clearly, thumbing remaining tears off his face.“Scared. Of what?”“Loving me.”Niki held his breath, “I’m not.”
Relationships: Amagi Rinne/Shiina Niki
Comments: 13
Kudos: 79





	Why are you so scared to love me?

Rinne had two principals he lived by.

To be an idol people looked up, adored. Someone that a person down on their luck could turn to, putting in tangled earbuds and softening to the sound of his rough vocals. He was saved once by someone like that, an idol whose name failed him as the years passed by. Yet he never forgot that interaction, the moment the passion and fire had ignited within his heart. 

That was his first principal, his motto. He was proud of it, although most would mistake it for violent tyranny as a result of his rather…….interesting personality.

The other was to be there for Niki Shiina, and to give in to the younger boys every whim.

Niki wasn’t just a crush, a hopeless flirtatious love he could toy with when he was bored. It wasn’t a passionate fling either, although he did enjoy the taste of Niki’s skin between his teeth, the strange sweetness of his lips a poison to Rinne’s ego. His love for Niki could not be well defined. It was boundless, it was rough, yet its realness was unmistakable, almost bordering on obsessive if he ever fully let himself go loose. But simply, Niki was important to him. More than the grey haired boy would ever know himself, more than the rest of his unit mates, his fans…..

He had seen the posts, the rumors, the paparazzi shot of Niki’s slender arms wrapped around Rinne, his sparkling blue eyes half lidded. Niki had freaked out when Kohaku linked him the article, the caption burning holes into those dazzling eyes of his. Rinne had opted to stay uncharacteristically quiet this time, his heart sinking as Niki’s loud protests dug daggers into the older boy's heart. 

“Rinne-kun and I aren’t anything like that I swear!”

“I-I, I mean, you can’t marry a man in these parts anyhow~”

“He’s just a freeloader ahaha, I was tired in that picture….”

Rinne closed his eyes, trying to shut out the sound of Niki’s voice. Usually his voice was honeysweet, a tad pinch of roughness and charm melting into it smoothly. Yet here, it was grating. A loud buzzing that encompassed his skull, banging on the bone until it cracked. 

Were they really just nothing? He could hear Niki’s voice again, but it wasn’t from the Niki standing across the room from him. It was a different Niki, one whose eyes were brimming with want, forehead and neck slicked with sweat, mouth opening-

Rinne cussed silently, waving his hand as if that would dismiss the vivid memories from that night. 

“I love you Rinne-kun, I love you!” 

No. 

Niki didn’t mean that.

Were those encounters just a convenience for Niki? 

Rinne is just a freeloader anyways, might as well get some fun out of it huh?

He should’ve just dropped it, yet the feelings never subsided, and since that incident they had done it two more times. Niki proclaiming his love every time.

So why, why? Why was Niki so scared to get close? Was the idea of Rinne being seen with him so distasteful they had to do it in the private confines of Niki’s bedroom? Why couldn’t he say it to him with honesty, with love and not passion. 

They were so different when they were alone. 

Stolen gazes, shy kisses, hand holding under the table while they ate. The lust too, but Rinne wanted more than that of course. 

But it was all done behind a mask, a locked door that Niki only had the key to, and it was buried too deep in his heart for Rinne to reach. 

He didn’t even know when he had fallen this deep for him. At first their relationship was awkward, not really friends, yet by fate they lived under the same roof. Rinne had spent many restless nights on the couch in the living room during those early days. He was 17, his life marred and broken down till only a few nights ago he had been homeless, sleeping with his back to the alley wall. That was until he found him, wide eyed and hungry, yet still extending a small hand to the redhead.

“Onii-chan? Are you alright?”

He had been led to his home and fed, he had been saved.

A few days after that still hadn’t left. He had to watch over Niki while he was recovering from passing out, after all. The younger boy had been persistent Rinne didn’t have to do that, yet thanks to Rinne’s quite interesting word choice, they were now indebted to each other. 

“I’ll do anything in my power to fulfill your wish Shiina, I’ll make sure of it.”

“Mmmm.” The 14 year old replied, stuffing his face with some of the food Rinne had gotten from the neighbors days earlier. “You keep saying that onii-chan, ya sure? I mean it’ll be helpful but also a hassle since I can’t really absorb nutrients like regular people.” He set his chopsticks down, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “Also call me Niki, Shiina’s…..eh” He didn’t finish his sentence, resulting in picking up his utensils again, downing more of his meal.

“Alright, Niki.”

He somehow remained on that couch for three years, both of them expecting Rinne to leave once Niki had recovered. But there was nowhere for him to go, and he had taken a small liking to his savior. 

As the two of them aged, Rinne had picked up on the fact Niki was horribly hard on himself.

“But I can’t be an idol Rinne-kun, it’s just a waste of my energy! I’m no good at this singing and dancing stuff either, it’s fine it’s fine just lemme gooooo~!” 

“Niki-kyunnnn! Don’ say that ‘bout yerself wahahaha! C’mon, we gotta bright future for the two of us!” Rinne had grabbed the 16 year olds wrist, ignoring his protests as he dragged him off to the idol agency.

They had found something there, and despite Niki’s whines, they were still going at it.

The crowd cheered as the last syllables slipped out of Rinne’s mouth. He was unbelievably sweaty, adrenaline coursing through his veins. The energy from the live was infectious, and despite his exhaustion a wide smile was on his face. In his left hand was Niki’s right. Glancing over, he noticed his unit mate was panting, face slicked with sweat and brows furrowed. Yet his mouth drooped into a sly smile. 

The two made eye contact, Niki grinned.

“I love ya Rinne-kun.”

That was only a few days after Niki’s 18th birthday, and it was only in that moment….

In that moment he realized Niki had set a fire in his heart.

Rinne Amagi was in love with Niki Shiina. 

Weeks after he had moved from the couch to a spot in Niki’s bed. 

And at the time he had thought it would’ve sincerely meant something.

\--------------

The door swung open with so much as a creak. Rinne’s eyes scanned the dark bedroom, anxiety settling when he saw Niki’s peaceful figure, limbs tangled in their shared bed sheets. The steady rising and fall of his chest signaling the younger boy was fast asleep. 

Rinne let out a sigh. Good. 

He made his way over to his side of the bed, the right, sitting down slowly as to not let the mattress dip too suddenly. Waking up Niki now would be a death sentence. Not only was it past midnight, but Rinne couldn’t let his roommate awaken to what he was “planning.” He dug in his pocket, producing a small black box from it.

With a sharp intake of breath he opened it, his heart dropping slightly.

It was a ring, one he had bought for Niki over two months ago. 

He had been saving up for it for a while, lying to Niki that he had no money due to his gambling habits. It wasn’t exactly a lie, and Niki had bought into it anyways, rolling his eyes fondly at Rinne’s strained smirk. At times like these he was a bit grateful Niki wasn’t that good at reading others. 

Over the course of the two months he had had possession of the ring, he had gotten close to doing it. Once, twice, three times. Rinne Amagi had almost proposed to Niki Shiina three times, barely able to pull the box out of his pocket each attempt. After the third failure he wanted to give up, but a voice in his head willed him to keep the ring. For what purpose? Niki didn’t love him. 

Or he did, but superficially. For convenience……….right? 

Niki stirred in his sleep, Rinne held his breath.

The grey haired boy let out a soft groan, shifting, his face was now to Rinne’s backside. He glanced back, Niki’s eyes were still closed. Thank god.

He took the ring out of the box, holding it gently between two fingers. It was pretty, a small cut diamond atop a black band. It sparkled faintly in the moonlight, the shimmer drawing Rinne in. He closed his eyes, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill. Was he moving too fast for Niki? Too fast for himself? What was he doing wrong? All of this was too loud, too big, too confusing for even Rinne to comprehend. How laughable it was, and usually he was so confident.

“Rinne-kun?”

Oh no.

Rinne’s eyes snapped open, he didn’t need to turn around to know Niki had woken up suddenly.

“Rinne-kun~ You’re home….” His voice was slurred, dripping with sleepiness. There was shuffling, the moving of sheets. Niki was now sitting upright, rubbing the exhaustion from his eyes. 

“Niki….”

“Ah Rinne-kunnn, what’s that?” He dragged his voice as he lazily wrapped an arm over Rinne’s shoulder, swatting at the ring in his hand.

The ring. Fuck.

“ ‘s nothin’ for ya to worry about Niki-kun.” He tried to sound forceful, hoping Niki would just give up and go back to sleep, he was probably too exhausted and it was too dark for him to (hopefully) understand what the object was. Rinne moved his arm, but Niki caught his wrist.

“Rinnnnnne lemme see lemme see~” 

Rinne tried to move again, yet Niki’s grip stuck. With his free hand Niki swung his arm over Rinne’s other shoulder, slipping a finger on the ring.

He pulled back.

The silence between them was deafening. Blood pounded in Rinne’s ears as he whipped around to meet Niki’s eyes. The sparkling blue was stained wet with tears, and widened in shock. Even in the dark, he noticed Niki shook slightly.

“Rinne….what’s this?” 

It was rhetorical, Niki already knew the answer. 

“You were serious…..about wanting to marry me?”

“.......yes.”

Niki stared at the ring on his finger, the tears not ceasing as he smiled weakly. “But we can’t Rinne. We can’t. Y-you know this.”

Rinne ignored his protests, shaking his head, “Niki why are you crying?” 

“Ah…..oh.” Niki’s smile dropped, “Ah…..I didn’t think Rinne-kun was being serious, it's touching ya wanna marry me, but you know we can’t-” He was cut off by something forceful against his lips, warm and wet, tasting slightly of alcohol. He melted into Rinne, hands finding their way to wrap gently around his neck. Even when they parted he held on, eyeing the faint glint of the diamond behind Rinne’s head. 

“Why are you scared Niki?” Rinne spoke clearly, thumbing remaining tears off his face. 

“Scared. Of what?”

“Loving me.” 

Niki held his breath, “I’m not.”

“Yes ya are.” Rinne pressed a kiss to Niki’s chin, the younger boy shuddering in his hold.

“You never wanna be seen near me in public, callin’ me things like a freeloader, a gigolo. Yer scared of my affection, even though ya revel in it when we’re alone together. Ya can’t let the world dictate yer feelings, just let me love you. Do you love me Niki?”

“I-I do, I love you so much Rinne-kun.”

“Then stop being so scared Niki, let me marry you, please.” He reached behind his neck, pulling Niki’s hands off of them, sliding the ring off his finger with a quick motion. 

Niki was silent, arms dropping to his side. In the faint moonlight his expression was hard to read, Rinne cupped his face, forcing Niki to look at him.

“But we can’t Rinne-kun.” His voice was small.

“Why the fuck not Niki? You say you love me, and I love you, what’s not adding up?” 

“You’re not worried about the drama it’ll cause? Rinne-kun we’re idols, whether I like it or not we’re idols, together, in Crazy: B. And we’re both me-”

“Cut it with that internalized homophobic bullshit Niki, who gives a fuck if we’re both men, and who gives a damn if we’re idols?” 

Niki went quiet, wracking his brain for an answer. “The industry” he said finally, “And my parents, people at CosPro, Kohaku-chan and HiMERU…..” He trailed off, trying to avert his eyes from Rinne’s gaze. 

“Remember the summer we went through together Niki?” Rinne asked honestly.

The younger laughed, “Of course, how could I forget the worst summer of my life.” his eyes glimmered as he said it, lips curling into a smile.

“You said earlier we’re Crazy: B. Crazy: B has a shit reputation Niki-kyun! So who gives a fuck what we do or who we kiss. The higher ups probably don’t care either, ya seen how glasses-kun looks at his unit mates, he’s so in love ‘s nasty, and he’s the vice pres Niki!” 

“But-”

“Nope! No buts Niki-kyun, do whatever the fuck ya heart wants, and I know ya want me~” Rinne pulled away from Niki, scrambling up off the bed, “Get up, get up!”

“Hahhhh this is such a hassle, I have no energy you know.” But still Niki complied, dragging himself out of bed to stand near the window. 

Rinne smiled devilishly, kneeling in front of Niki, whose breath hitched.

“Niki, you pain in the ass, will you stop playing so hard to get and just marry me already?” 

Niki rolled his eyes, “That was the lamest proposal ever.” 

“Ehhhhh, well?” 

Niki dropped his hand, spreading his fingers. Rinne slid the ring on.

“Yes Rinne, I think…..I think I’ll stop being scared for you.”

Rinne beamed.

“I’ll marry you, Rinne Amagi.” 

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
